Suicide and ADHD

From “Small Talk”, by Richard Pink and Roxanne Pink

A recent study by Henry Shelford states that adults with ADHD are five times more likely to have attempted suicide than those without it. That’s a 500 percent greater chance of taking our own lives. I want you to think about that for a moment. How is it that this condition, one that most see primarily as an issue of “paying attention,” could be linked to people not wanting to be here anymore? Surely not being able to stay on task is by no means grounds for someone believing that the world would be better off without them in it.

When somebody with ADHD feels judged for being inferior and feels that they themselves are at fault for their symptoms, they will have no one to turn to when things get dark. They will feel like they do not deserve help, because they’ve brought this on themselves.

In the middle of darkness, it becomes impossible to see the light, but I promise you it is still there. Although this world can be full of sadness and pain, it is equally full of beauty and love. 

Imagine what it is like to live with a constant narrative playing in your head, like a broken record playing over and over, repeating: 

I am lazy. 
I’m not trying hard enough. 
I quit everything I start. 
I am stupid. 
I am a bad person. 
Everybody secretly hates me. 
I am useless. 
I am a burden. 
I am a failure. 
The world would be better off without me.

What do we expect is going to happen? Do we think we can believe these things about ourselves and somehow still live happily? That this kind of relentless shame and bullying will somehow uncover our best selves? Suicidal ideation and suicide attempts are the expression of a deep hopelessness. The fruit of a poisoned tree. That tree is first poisoned by the outside world, and as we grow up, we start to do the poisoning ourselves. We have absorbed the negative messages around us, and taken up the torch to continue to rebroadcast them internally.

The truth looks something like this: 

I don’t need to “fix” myself. 
I am multi-passionate. 
I deserve to work at a job I enjoy. 
It’s okay to change direction. 
I struggle with certain things due to my condition. 
I also have lots of skills that others don’t have. 
I sometimes need extra reassurance, and that is okay. 
I am a person of value no matter what needs I have. 
It isn’t too late for me to follow my dreams. 
I deserve to be here. 

The fruit of this tree is very different. It is not poisoned or rotting. Quite the opposite, in fact: it is covered in beautiful, vibrant blossoms. When we change our core beliefs, we change the roots of that tree that we build our very lives on. Change the roots, change the tree.