Step 1

Find

The first step is to find a part. This could be a part that is causing trouble in the present moment, such as a part that causes anxiety or a part that drives impulsive behavior. To identify a part, the individual can focus on a symptom or behavior and sense the part behind it.

Step 2

Focus

Once a part is identified, the individual is asked to focus on it. This involves paying attention to the sensations, emotions, and thoughts related to the part. This step allows the individual to get a clearer sense of the part and its concerns.

Step 3

Flesh Out

This step involves exploring the part in more detail. The individual is encouraged to ask the part questions to understand its purpose, concerns, beliefs, and desires better. This could involve understanding when the part first formed, what its role has been, and what it fears would happen if it didn't perform its role.

Step 4

Friend

After getting to know the part, the next step is to develop a friendly relationship with it. This involves showing the part kindness, curiosity, and compassion, showing it that it is seen, heard, and valued. This can help the part feel safer and more willing to trust the Self.

Step 5

Facilitate
Unburdening

Once a relationship is established with the part, the process of unburdening can begin. Unburdening is about helping the part release the burdens it has been carrying—painful emotions, beliefs, or memories. This involves the part showing the Self the memory or experience related to the burden and the Self providing the healing that wasn't available at that time, like reassurance, comfort, or protection.

Step 6

Follow Up

The final step is to follow up with the part, ensuring that it has what it needs and feels safe and comfortable with the changes. This could involve making agreements with the part about how the individual will behave or respond in the future, and checking in with the part regularly to see how it's doing.