Overreacting to Criticism

• People scoring high on the HSP Scale had stronger emotional reactions to both kinds of feedback than the nonsensitive people, who had almost no reaction to either.
   
  
• Sensitivity to criticism results from the combination of an innate attention to feedback, in order to “do it once and do it right,” and low self-esteem, which together can make a sensitive ashamed or defensive when receiving anything but perfectly positive feedback. This hinders them in nearly every aspect of life. 
  
  
• It is important for a sensitive to first have a basic self-esteem, so that they can reflect on the criticism from a calm, more rational place.
   
  
• Because they react so quickly and thoroughly to feedback, they need to be able to see when the source was a good one, when it was distorting the situation but partly right, or when it was just plain wrong.
  
  
• The content of the feedback has to be considered. Was it actually negative, was it helpful, and was it valid in the sense that the person was in a position to know? Was it based on a simple misunderstanding?
  
  
• Was the other trying to be helpful or was the reason for the feedback centered entirely in the other’s needs or state of mind? Was the person just tired that day? Does the other have a particular reason to be jealous, offended, or defensive? (Sensitive patients often cannot imagine being a threat to others.) Does the person criticize almost everyone?
  
  
•  Many sensitive people are overly open to criticism. They are quick to feel shame and often hear criticism when it is not there. At the other extreme are those who become extremely defensive or distraught if they are offered any comment that strays from pure support. These are the most difficult to help when in therapy, as they cannot bear to hear what needs to change.
   
• For sensitive patients to tolerate having made a mistake they need to know they can survive the momentary bad feelings they will have, which will be stronger for them.