Sample Therapy Session

Excerpt from “Internal Family Systems Training Manual”

INTRODUCING KEY IFS CONCEPTS

WHEN STARTING WITH A NEW CLIENT

 Here is an example of how one might talk about parts and the Self when starting with a new client who wants to be oriented to your approach to therapy. 

THERAPIST: Nice to meet you, Logan. Tell me why you’re here and how I might help. 

LOGAN: Well school has been a big drag lately. My classes are harder this semester and I feel stressed and overwhelmed. Although my girlfriend keeps trying to help me write papers, we fight all the time. It’s all just super pissing me off. 

THERAPIST: Sounds challenging. I’m glad you’re here. 

LOGAN: Yeah my parents have been harping on me to go to therapy and figure out what’s wrong with me. 

THERAPIST: Well, let me say upfront that I wouldn’t take the view that something is wrong with you. I hear you’re in a difficult place and you’re trying, as best you can, to help yourself.

 • The therapist asserts a non-pathologized view of Logan’s distress.

 LOGAN: Thank you! That’s what I think. So what do you do?

 THERAPIST: My approach to therapy is called internal family systems, or IFS.

 LOGAN: My girlfriend is a psych major. What is IFS?

 THERAPIST: Well, IFS is quite different. In my experience, the best introduction is direct experience - I can show you.

 LOGAN: You can’t tell me anything?

 THERAPIST: Sure I can. This approach to therapy says that we all have lots of different parts. For example, I’m different here at work than I am at home when I play with my kids or than I am when I’m running a road race with friends. These parts are like different aspects of my personality. And I have lots more, too. Do you know what I mean?

 LOGAN: I guess.

 THERAPIST: Maybe it would help if I tell you what I’ve heard about your parts? Because in this way we’re all the same. We all have parts. For example, you spoke about a part who feels overwhelmed and stressed out about school, and a part who is fighting with your girlfriend and generally seems angry all the time. As well, you mentioned having a part who disagrees with your parents that something is wrong with you. And clearly you have a part who was willing to come to therapy even though you disagree with your parents. Is that right?

 LOGAN: Yes.

 THERAPIST: So we all have parts and our parts take on certain roles and responsibilities to help us get through difficult times. And here’s what’s different about IFS. We can talk with your parts directly, if you want.

 • The therapist leaves the decision to proceed in Logan’s hands, de facto asking for permission to proceed.

 LOGAN: That sounds good. But I’m afraid if I think about all this too much I’ll be more bummed out when I leave.

 • Although one part is now intrigued, another - a concerned part - speaks up.

 THERAPIST: I understand. I don’t want you to leave here feeling more bummed out. Can I tell you one more thing that might help?

 LOGAN: Okay.

 THERAPIST: In addition to lots of parts, we all also have internal strength to get through tough times. So deep down I’d say you do know what’s best and you have the inner resources to navigate this situation. These resources include a kind of inner wisdom that is your core Self: the Logan who is not a part. I can help your parts meet that Logan if they want.

 • The therapist introduces the idea of the Self.

 LOGAN: They don’t think it’s true.

 THERAPIST: I’m glad they spoke up because I wouldn’t want them to take my word for it. And I want them to know that meeting the Logan who is not a part would not involve them changing or giving anything up, it would just be to learn about what that Logan has to offer.

 LOGAN: Okay I’ll try.

 THERAPIST: So let’s start with one part who needs your attention first.

 • Always have a target part